One of the worst things about living in the ordinarily lovely city of Houston is the fact that you have to drive everywhere. Depending on what part of the city you live in, everything is at least “20 minutes away.” Not only that, but I have the worst vehicular luck imaginable; you can rest assured that no matter what time of day it is, if I’m in a car, I’m sitting in traffic. Sometimes I wonder if I’ve actually died and gone to hell, and my punishment is having to sit in perpetual traffic.
But aside from virtually spending my whole life in gridlock, I hate driving in Houston because of the sheer volume of dickhead drivers who hide behind the tinted windows of anonymity they gain from being inside a car. I guarantee you at least one idiot will make you lose all faith in humanity, just because they think their time is more important than yours. What really sucks is that I have terrible road rage and if you poke me enough (no “ayyy” here), the misogyny and racism monster will rear its ugly head and with it, a curse-laden tirade on rapid-fire aimed at a total stranger who, unfortunately, won’t be able to hear me. I’m not one of those people who have a problem using the “C” word that rhymes with “runt”, but even if I were, I’d still call you a cunt. Think of me as a foul-mouthed Tickle-Me-Elmo; a Tickle-Me-Assh-wait a second. Dammit. Seriously though, I don’t think enough people realize how dangerous of an activity driving really is. So don’t be the asshole who drives recklessly and causes the accident that causes the traffic that I have to sit in.
P.S. If you’re one of those people who don’t use their turn signals to change lanes, dishonor on you and dishonor on your cow. I mean…ahem…fuck you. Fuck your car, fuck your fish tank, fuck your toenails, fuck your computer chair, fuck your front lawn, fuck your morning coffee, fuck your profile picture, fuck your phone charger, fuck your glasses, fuck your toilet paper, fuck your favorite song, fuck your T.V. antenna, and fuck your bad driving habits.
P.P.S. To be continued because I have many more things to say about driving.
This week’s photo theme is, “What is Aaron looking at?” Possibly the sun because he is trying to photosynthesize.