Because of my small stature and because I possess whatever the male equivalent of bitchy resting face is (I guess it’s still bitchy resting face), I’ve been the target of bullying my entire life. And by entire life, I mean from when I was just a wee lad running around the ole schoolyard until now, as a 26 year old adult. Yes, I still have people try to pick on me because of whatever insecurities they have.
Looking at it now, a lot of my altercations seem to occur on the basketball court. My first quarrel transpired when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I used to go to the local park to live out my hoop dreams and as with every court, you have to wait to play. When it was my turn to play, this guy, who, now that I think about, ironically looked like one of those immigrant ass, broken English speaking ass, anime pillow girlfriend having ass, fucking assholes who make Asian people look bad (I’m Asian so I can say that) thought it’d be acceptable to claim it was his turn. So when I objected, people just kind of disregarded me on account of my age. That was probably one of the defining moments of my life because I remember so vividly how I felt and I knew I never wanted to feel that way again. My face was hot and I was literally burning with rage and exasperation. I didn’t want to cry, but there was no holding back the tears as I had no choice but to walk home in shame and frustration. And that, kids, is how supervillains are born!
Fast forward about two decades, and the same bullshit is happening to me. Of course, when you go to a place with a lot of testosterone such as the gym, there is going to be a lot of meatheads who have to put on the whole alpha male act. Everyone wants to be the biggest and baddest and they want everyone else to see how big and bad they are. What better way to prove how manly and strong you are than to find the smallest guy on the court and try to embarrass them. You know the biggest idiots have to make the most noise; it’s the unwritten law of the jungle. Unfortunate it is for the ones that come looking for that gratification at my gym, it just so happens that the smallest guy there is usually me and they usually find out it’s much more trouble than they bargained for. I’m like a Jack Russell terrier: small, spiteful, and completely unaware of my size, so I’ll be talking shit like I ain’t scared to lose a fist fight (thanks, Ye.) What I’ve found out from years of dealing with these bullies is that they get angry and violent when they don’t quite get the reaction they wanted, or they get embarrassed because their bullying backfired. Maybe it’s just my evolved way of thinking, maybe it’s Maybelline, but if you need to get physical with someone because your words weren’t enough to beat them, then you’ve already lost in my eyes. But then again, I should probably stop calling people who are much bigger than me, “bitches,” because generally, they tend to not like it too much and get really mad and try to fight you. Fuck it though, because I’ve got the spirit of Harambe protecting me.
Today’s photo theme is bubbles! Protip: if you ever have the choice between cheap bubbles and slightly less cheap bubbles, opt for the slightly less cheap ones and consider buying a bubble gun if it is available. You’ll look back and thank this random blog post. As always, thanks for reading.