Fun photo shoot in the cold. Tried some fashion shit.
Three things really stand out in my mind when I think about my recent trip to New York City. As I walked across the Brooklyn Bridge in the rain and freezing temperatures, I couldn’t help but feel a bit sentimental because I was so grateful for friends who were willing to brave such frigid conditions and make the best of an otherwise dubious situation. Second, I experienced the perfect sitcom moment when my friends and I thought we were waving at a dog from an apartment building, but it turned out to be an ugly, naked guy changing with his blinds open. And third, New Yorkers love cheese pizza and for that reason alone, I would never belong there.
Before the end of 2017, I traveled to Boston with my favorite person in the entire fucking world: me. It was my first time travelling alone so I felt a bit of anxiety but at the same time it was kind of empowering. I don’t need my shit friends! (If they’re reading this, I’m just kidding and I love them all.) But there is something therapeutic about just wandering around alone. I didn’t have to worry about anyone else and just did whatever the fuck I wanted. I loved the feeling of stopping to take photographs without feeling like I had to rush or that I was being bothersome to my companions, even though that’s probably not how they’d feel and I just live inside my own head. Anyway, enjoy some street photography. P.S. If you’re ever in Boston go this literal hole-in-the-wall Chinese place called Wai Wai’s for the best fucking roasted duck you’ll ever have in your entire motherfucking life.
Whenever people find out that you’re a photographer, the first question they’ll probably ask you is going to be something along the lines of, “What camera do you use?” If it’s your first time being asked this question, you’ll probably tell them the actual name and model of your camera, and the majority will pretend to know what you’re talking about. You get asked enough times and you’ll realize it’s not worth answering or it’s more fun to tell them something like the Nikon Di1D0 and watch them nod their heads and tell you it’s an amazing machine (shout out to Lance). Inevitably, the conversation will lead to, “What camera should I buy?” or “What’s the best camera out there?” So I, being ever enthusiastic and eager to help lazy people, have decided to answer this question for anyone who wants to get into photography.
I have developed a complex, two-pronged answer to your enquiry and the first prong is to go fuck yourself, possibly with said prong. Yes. GO. FUCK. YOUR. SELF. Look in your kitchen to see if you have two bananas. If you do, great; you can skip this next step. If you don’t, go to the grocery store and don’t come back until you have two bananas. While you’re there, you might also want to pick up a stick of butter. Now that you have the two bananas and optional stick of butter, you’re going to want to eat both of the bananas because they are an excellent source of fiber and potassium. You can save the butter for later use. Then go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself if you think my camera somehow just turns itself on, thinks about how it wants to compose a photo, points itself at the subject, and presses its own buttons. Go fuck yourself if you have the notion that whatever expensive camera you buy is going to help you take better pictures, because it isn’t. Just like buying the best paintbrushes won’t magically make you a better painter, or buying the best shoes won’t make you run any faster. A camera is merely a tool and it is much more important to learn how to use one with time and practice than it is to have the best tool. I’ve seen people who have taken incredible photographs on their iPhone cameras (much thanks to Kevin, whose photo I used below) and I’ve seen people with above $1,000 cameras who still haven’t figured out shutter speed and every photograph they’ve ever taken is out of focus (looking at you, thing-under-mouth-tografy).
With all of that being said, if you’re not a tool whose only intention is to try to impress people with your camera, then I may have actual advice to you on the matter. Your gear does not matter, but I would still much rather have a Ferrari than a Ford Fusion, so fuck a beginner camera. It’s pointless and a waste of money and if I have any regrets, it’s buying a dumb fucking beginner camera because there is literally no difference in learning with a beginner camera and an “intermediate-pro”-level camera and you’ll soon realize that it won’t serve you for very long due to its limited capabilities. So first, figure out what type of content you want to create with your camera and do your research. What works for one person might not work for the next. Do you need a full frame with high ISO capabilities and fast autofocus for weddings? Do you need 4k recording capabilities? What is your budget? Then go buy your camera and learn how to fucking use it. Oh, and save some money for good lenses, because having a great camera with shitty lenses is like having a big penis and no hands. #badanalogy
Alright, so if you guys have been keeping up with these posts, you’ll remember how much I hate driving and for those of you who have never read any of my posts, I hate driving. Also fuck you, read my stuff. Anyway, recently, I saw a YouTube video about driving in the left lane, which you can watch here:
The video has some valid points because I hate getting stuck behind drivers that go below the speed limit as much as anyone. But I’m going to put on my devil’s advocate pants and present to you a counter-argument for a few of the statements the guy in the video makes.
- Every state has some law on record that restricts the use of the left lane. But there are also laws that say that you have to use your turn signal when changing lanes and half you pieces of shit out there don’t follow that law. There’s also laws that state you have to wear your seatbelt, which is there to save your dumbass life and yet, there are dumbfucks who refuse to buckle up. I guess I must have missed the memo that told us we were allowed to pick and choose which rules we follow and which we don’t.
- German Autobahn. Last time I checked, this was fucking ‘Murica. You remember what happened last time Germany had a great idea? Just kidding. But you can’t compare the two countries like that. For one, Germany is among the strictest countries in the world on gun control, whereas in the U.S., you hear about a mass shooting just about every other week. Going back to the point about laws, even in the video, the narrator states that the Autobahn doesn’t have a speed limit, and I think that’s what makes it work. In the U.S. there are speed limits and police officers who dedicate their time to ruining your day by pulling you over for going above these speed limits. Call me crazy, but I think that the laws regarding speed limit and using the left lane only for passing kind of contradict each other. The people who don’t drive fast in the fast lane are probably just afraid a cop will come out of nowhere and pull them over. I know because I am one of them. Gasp! I honestly have no idea how fast you’re allowed to go in the left lane to pass, and the speed limit signs don’t have an asterisk next to it explicitly telling you what’s acceptable. Furthermore, sometimes I’ll find myself in the left lane because of how parts of the highways in Houston merge. So I wait for an opportunity to safely switch back over to a non-left lane, but before I can, there’s always some dickhead tailgating me, even though I’m going 10 mph above the speed limit. Look here, bitch. I am not about to risk getting a speeding ticket just because you think driving fast is a penis enhancer. I know. I’ve tried. So go fuck yourself.
- General blaming of slower drivers for causing accidents. Yeah! Let’s blame the people who are going a reasonable speed for causing all the accidents! Darn them so hard! Or. OR. ORRRRRRR! We can place the fault on the fuckfaces that think they can weave in and out of traffic at 100 mph. So if you watch the video around 0:30, the only person who did anything wrong is the fucking asshole who decides to drive on the shoulder to try and pass the pickup truck, consequently causing an accident. Why? Why would you think that was a good idea? Your impatience could’ve killed somebody and you want to put this on the victim? Blaming the slower-moving drivers on the road for you causing an accident because you were trying to zigzag in between them all is like blaming McDonald’s for making you and your kids fat and ugly. You fucking oxygen thieves are probably the same assholes that blame women for getting raped because they were “asking for it” by being drunk or dressing a certain way. Literally paving the road for human diarrhea like Brock Turner.
In theory, the law would be great for regulating the flow of traffic. Pass up slow drivers, switch back over, repeat. Too bad there are just too many variables involved and from what I’ve seen, most people just think they own the road and that left lane is their personal little race strip where they can go as fast as they want. A little patience goes a long way and it could mean the difference between life and death, so be safe out there, drivers.
This week’s photos are from a shoot I did at the University of Houston. I hadn’t been there in years and everything was so different and unsettling!
I never thought I’d have to, but I think it’s important that I preface this next post with the disclaimer that I am not a communist. Capitalism, good (thumbs up); Stalin, bad (grunt, frowny face). But with the November election coming up, I’d like to talk about a few, very inherent, but underlying problems with the way democracy works.
First off, there are no merits or qualifications required to vote, besides that of being 18 years old and a citizen of the United States. This means that your below-average Joe has the right to vote, granted he registers in time and is willing to go to the polls. Not that big of a deal right? Everyone should have a right to vote for who governs them, no matter how uneducated or ill-informed they may be.
The real issue comes from the idea of democracy itself. Basically, you take a vote and whichever side has more votes gets their way. Sounds fair right? Well, yes, in a utilitarian sense, because since more people are satisfied, it must be right. Right? But what if you had a situation where you asked 10 people to vote on something? Let’s say cake or ice cream. I mean there is no wrong answer here because both are delicious. But anyway, 6 people vote for cake and 4 vote for ice cream. That’s (whips out calculator, calculates) 40% of people who are unhappy with the outcome and have to live with whatever decision the other people made, which is almost (counts on fingers) half of the population! Do you see the problem with that? The minority, here, is not so minor and unfortunately, the election for president of the United States isn’t as inconsequential or as tasty as a vote for what to eat for dessert. As divided as this country has been over the two candidates, there will certainly be a very large percentage of citizens who will be part of the losing minority.
If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers,” this is exactly what it’s warning us about. Just because more people agree on something, doesn’t make it the right answer. What if we added eating poo to the options of desserts, and what if, for some reason, 9 to 1 people voted for eating poo for dessert? I don’t know if I have to spell it out for you, but eating poo here is analogous with having Donald Trump as president. I’m still in utter dismay that walking, orange-skinned, human sewage is one of the final two candidates for president, and yet, here we are. It’s like living in an episode of the Twilight Zone. I mean the other candidate isn’t great either, but this is one of those lesser-of-two-evils type situations. So as flawed as democracy is, it is still better to have the choice to vote for your leader than to not have it. So I urge you to go to the polls on November 8th, so that you don’t have to eat poo and, more importantly, I don’t have to eat poo, because I’ll be damned if I have to eat poo on account of someone else’s stupidity.
This week, I’m just doing a photo dump. If you follow my Instagram, (nhatflix) you’ve probably already seen these, but if you don’t, here they are in their high-res glory. As always, thanks for reading.
Because of my small stature and because I possess whatever the male equivalent of bitchy resting face is (I guess it’s still bitchy resting face), I’ve been the target of bullying my entire life. Continue reading “Picture Unrelated #5: I Hate Bullies”